Have you ever had the feeling that you are being told off by the whole social circle concept that you are, er, not fitting in? For one thing, they said that the body is the clothing, and that your soul keeps changing it every life time. I suppose this social circle takes it to a higher plane all together. When you are the bane of the people around you (who'd rather not be around you), you are the undergarment that they'd like to change as frequently as possible (full marks to them for at least getting this hygiene idea right). Anyway, here are some tell-tale signs that could help you self-diagnose if you are suffering from the social anathema-enema:
1. Your so-called friends only call you before a party. They tell you they are running short of potted plants and ask you if you could plant yourself in a corner of their living room for the evening.
2. You get forwards in the email that ask you not to forward it to anyone you know, or will have the chance of knowing, or will never know. They also tell you that an eternity of bad luck will befall you if you so much as click Forward.
3. You rarely receive text messages. The ones you do receive are promotions that don't want your participation, but only need to wheedle your friends' references out of you.
4. The online lottery scams declare that you are a winner and that you've won squat. And they ask you NOT to reply to their mail or follow any link.
5. In bed, your girlfriend/boyfriend/plastic doll friend tells you, "Not tonight dear! You give me a headache." Or "Not tonight dear, or else I'll give you a black eye/herpes/fatal-scrotal-squeeze."
6. You are denied a promotion no matter how much cleavage you've shown/licked ugly rears at the workplace.
7. A hot chick digs you on a dating site. And tells you she's writing a book titled "What's a girl like you doing with a loser like that?"
8. At school, your teachers never saw you raise your hand when you were dying to answer a question, but somehow always managed to catch the guy/girl next to you. And on occasion if you did answer, their reaction was, "Ok, who's next?"
9. They tell you that they want to tell you a joke, and scream, "It's YOU!" and follow it up with hyena-like hysterical cackling.
10. Your neighbours redirect their spam to your address. And tell you they did it out of concern and they think these mailers will have something useful for you.
