You see pigeon shit everywhere. Sometimes, you become guano receptacle and a spectacle for those who catch the moment. But why is there so much of it around these days? What led to this poop mania among pigeons? A new study attempts to get to the root of it (with due apologies to Sonam Kapoor, but the ad agency for Garnier should try pitching on the lines of a shampoo that clears bird poo from your hair, and perhaps have her say, Because you're worth shit).
According to the study, it was Bollywood that gave rise to this phenomenon. It glorified and romanticised kabootar (pigeon), through songs like kabootar ja ja ja (pigeon go go go).
Or chad gaya oopar re atariya pe lotan kabootar (the rolling pigeon has climbed the attic)
And then you have this, kabootari bole kabootar se (she-pigeon tells he-pigeon)
And some even called the pigeon Lucky:
And dil junglee kabootar (heart is a wild pigeon)
Now, these are a few examples. Bollywood fired the pigeon's passion. The already randy species went on a lustful lovemaking spree, making more baby pigeons along the way. As a result, you found them in unabashedly compromising positions all around you, typically on the ACs, balconies, the washing machine, the kitchen vent - you name the location. Naturally, the pigeon population boom had to end in pigeon poopulation boom.
The study, conducted by Sulabh Ghareloo International, studied guano generators in various cities across the country. They found that the likelihood of guano in neighbourhoods that played such songs was higher than those that did not. Also, the quantity of guano from an individual pigeon almost doubled when the song kabootar ja ja ja was played.
According to the study, chances of kabootar shitting on you increased drastically when the song Lucky Kabootar was being played. Dr Kab Utar, pigeon psychologist, attributes this to the bird thinking that shitting on one's head is lucky for the one who gets it. Apparently, he said, the song twisted the old adage, crow shit on your head being lucky, and hard-wired it in pigeon species brains.
The study concludes, "From the samples we have tested, it is clear beyond considerable doubt that Bollywood has been single-handedly responsible for turning pigeons into stool pigeons. The lyricists of Bollywood may not have understood the consequences of their words when they were penning those lyrics. The nation is now paying the price, with guano overload."
Mr. Poopta Prasad of Lalooganj says, "We had been listening to the songs (mentioned in the study) but did not put two-and-poo together. Now it all makes sense. Our household has stopped listening to kabootar songs now. In fact, we don't even mention the word at home. Our balcony seems cleaner. My car has less poop."
Mrs. Pottyvrata Nariman of Tattisgarh says, "Whenever I hung clothes to dry on our roof, the neighbourhood pigeons ensured they leave their poop on them. I was so fed up that I had nightmares about it. I would dream that guano was taking over my world. We were being eaten alive by this huge wave of green and white poop. But now I know the reason; I have decided to act on it. I want to change my world."
While these people have changed their circumstances by making certain changes in their playlists, a sizable population of the country continues to grapple with the toxic omnipresence of pigeon shit. Sulabh Ghareloo International now hopes that their study results will help India rid itself of kabootar poop.
According to the study, it was Bollywood that gave rise to this phenomenon. It glorified and romanticised kabootar (pigeon), through songs like kabootar ja ja ja (pigeon go go go).
Or chad gaya oopar re atariya pe lotan kabootar (the rolling pigeon has climbed the attic)
And then you have this, kabootari bole kabootar se (she-pigeon tells he-pigeon)
And some even called the pigeon Lucky:
And dil junglee kabootar (heart is a wild pigeon)
Now, these are a few examples. Bollywood fired the pigeon's passion. The already randy species went on a lustful lovemaking spree, making more baby pigeons along the way. As a result, you found them in unabashedly compromising positions all around you, typically on the ACs, balconies, the washing machine, the kitchen vent - you name the location. Naturally, the pigeon population boom had to end in pigeon poopulation boom.
The study, conducted by Sulabh Ghareloo International, studied guano generators in various cities across the country. They found that the likelihood of guano in neighbourhoods that played such songs was higher than those that did not. Also, the quantity of guano from an individual pigeon almost doubled when the song kabootar ja ja ja was played.
According to the study, chances of kabootar shitting on you increased drastically when the song Lucky Kabootar was being played. Dr Kab Utar, pigeon psychologist, attributes this to the bird thinking that shitting on one's head is lucky for the one who gets it. Apparently, he said, the song twisted the old adage, crow shit on your head being lucky, and hard-wired it in pigeon species brains.
The study concludes, "From the samples we have tested, it is clear beyond considerable doubt that Bollywood has been single-handedly responsible for turning pigeons into stool pigeons. The lyricists of Bollywood may not have understood the consequences of their words when they were penning those lyrics. The nation is now paying the price, with guano overload."
Mr. Poopta Prasad of Lalooganj says, "We had been listening to the songs (mentioned in the study) but did not put two-and-poo together. Now it all makes sense. Our household has stopped listening to kabootar songs now. In fact, we don't even mention the word at home. Our balcony seems cleaner. My car has less poop."
Mrs. Pottyvrata Nariman of Tattisgarh says, "Whenever I hung clothes to dry on our roof, the neighbourhood pigeons ensured they leave their poop on them. I was so fed up that I had nightmares about it. I would dream that guano was taking over my world. We were being eaten alive by this huge wave of green and white poop. But now I know the reason; I have decided to act on it. I want to change my world."
While these people have changed their circumstances by making certain changes in their playlists, a sizable population of the country continues to grapple with the toxic omnipresence of pigeon shit. Sulabh Ghareloo International now hopes that their study results will help India rid itself of kabootar poop.
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